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mellowsong
07-25-11, 04:32 PM
By Dr. John Briffa on 07/25/2011

Most people don’t like getting harsh criticism from others. The reality is, though, many of us can be our own worst critics.

This is particularly the case with regard to weight and body image. Some of us can consciously and unconsciously spend a lot of time feeling a range of negative emotions about our size and shape. For some, such self-judgments can lead to a tendency to eat poorly, which can compound any weight issues (and so the cycle repeats).

I was interested to read a study published recently in the International Journal of Behavioral Nutrition and Physical Activity [1]. Conducted in Lisbon, Portugal, it took 239 overweight and obese women and enrolled them into a year-long program. Half of the women were given information and support regarding healthy eating, stress management, and the importance of looking after oneself.

The other group got the same, but also attended regular group sessions. A major focus of these sessions was dealing with body image issues. The women who attended the group sessions made progress in this regard, and also found it easier to regulate their eating.

Read more: http://www.healthiertalk.com/drop-self-criticism-and-drop-pounds-too-4354

highlander
07-25-11, 05:33 PM
I'd like to see the same study done with men. I think women are a lot harder on themselves than men so I would expect to see different results. I think having a mental image of the way you want to look is productive.

Islander
07-25-11, 05:37 PM
I think women are a lot harder on themselves than men

How true. It's astonishing that a guy can strut around with a bald head (not that there's anything WRONG with that) and a beer belly and still think he's attractive to women.

Reesacat
07-25-11, 07:34 PM
EFT practitioners routinely address how you see yourself as part of weight loss, along with any emotional triggers for eating. I think getting a healthy self-image is harder for women-in the culture and media they are targeted non-stop with unrealistic images and "if you wear this/take that/do this THEN you will be beautiful".

highlander
07-25-11, 08:11 PM
How true. It's astonishing that a guy can strut around with a bald head (not that there's anything WRONG with that) and a beer belly and still think he's attractive to women.
IMO, men see what's right about themselves ("I wear the same size pants as I did in high school") and women see what's wrong with themselves. I really hate it when men, who don't look so hot themselves, harshly criticize women who are overweight or getting a bit droopy or whatever. I want to tell them that when they look like Duff McKagan they can say something but then they would still be ass holes so maybe they should just shut up.

highlander
07-25-11, 08:19 PM
I think getting a healthy self-image is harder for women-in the culture and media they are targeted non-stop with unrealistic images and "if you wear this/take that/do this THEN you will be beautiful".
I think the cure for this is for mothers and fathers both to tell their daughters from birth that they are beautiful without adding any qualifiers. If a girl is raised believing she is pretty and loved then the messages from culture become secondary. They may even think they have influence over those messages and are confident in expressing their originality.

Islander
07-25-11, 08:23 PM
I don't know who Duff McKagen is but I agree with what you just said!

Reesacat
07-25-11, 09:00 PM
Go Highlander! SUPPORT!

highlander
07-25-11, 09:40 PM
I don't know who Duff McKagen is but I agree with what you just said!

Duff McKagan is a musician who has what I consider to be a perfect male body. I realize that varies greatly person to person.

TonyG
07-25-11, 11:03 PM
I think the Dopamine rewards pathways play a huge role: http://scienceandreason.blogspot.com/2008/11/dopamine-and-obesity.html:cool:

Islander
07-25-11, 11:24 PM
I think the Dopamine rewards pathways play a huge role: http://scienceandreason.blogspot.com/2008/11/dopamine-and-obesity.html:cool:

So true. My parents should never have tried to reward me with Cream of Wheat. The lumps!
Seriously, we do use food as a reward far too often, and I think it confuses all our feedback loops.

highlander
07-25-11, 11:53 PM
Food should never be a reward or punishment. Addictions and cravings are hard enough to deal with without adding that to the mix.

Katee
07-26-11, 02:27 AM
I think the cure for this is for mothers and fathers both to tell their daughters from birth that they are beautiful without adding any qualifiers. If a girl is raised believing she is pretty and loved then the messages from culture become secondary. They may even think they have influence over those messages and are confident in expressing their originality.

How to Talk to Little Girls (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-bloom/how-to-talk-to-little-gir_b_882510.html)

Was this posted here before?

Pattypans
07-26-11, 09:02 AM
Katee, what a thoughtful, intelligent article. Thank you.

re: "I think the cure for this is for mothers and fathers both to tell their daughters from birth that they are beautiful without adding any qualifiers."

I once read about what I thought was an excellent idea: Instead of complimenting a child or teenager on something that was basically not his or her doing, such as looks or even innate intelligence, why not mention something they have total control over, such as, "I can see you really persevered on that project, even though I'll bet it was difficult." That's just an example, of course, and you'd have to tailor your comment to the situation, but I believe it's a very good principle.

Reesacat
07-26-11, 09:10 AM
I think the Dopamine rewards pathways play a huge role: http://scienceandreason.blogspot.com/2008/11/dopamine-and-obesity.html:cool:
Great article, Tony! I had listened to an EFT practitioner give a talk on that research and it was fascinating. She used EFT set-ups to target the dopamine reward pathways to have a normal response to food and was getting good success with her clients.

Reesacat
07-26-11, 09:11 AM
How to Talk to Little Girls (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-bloom/how-to-talk-to-little-gir_b_882510.html)

Was this posted here before?
I love it-thank you Katee! I hadn't thought about that before, but it makes so much sense to focus on what the child can do, and not how she looks.

Islander
07-26-11, 09:31 AM
Having grandchildren in the 3 to 5-y-o range makes this article on little girls particularly pertinent. I have always tried to talk to little kids on an adult level as much as possible. I mean we can't talk about credit default swaps but we can talk about real life stuff, as in the example. It also helps to be at eye level with a kid, squatting down or sitting on the couch together like the author did. Kids know when they're being talked down to. I will NEVER say to a kid, "My, how you're grown!" Great advice on recognizing children's native attributes.

highlander
07-26-11, 06:05 PM
Instead of complimenting a child or teenager on something that was basically not his or her doing, such as looks or even innate intelligence, why not mention something they have total control over, such as, "I can see you really persevered on that project, even though I'll bet it was difficult." That's just an example, of course, and you'd have to tailor your comment to the situation, but I believe it's a very good principle.
I think with girls we need to do both specifically because of the way our culture is. Every girl I know wants to be pretty whether they say it or not. If that confidence is not instilled early on then middle school is going to be even harder socially (it's already a nightmare). Of course my POV is based on where I came from and where I now live. It may be different elsewhere. That said, I don't think anyone should be arrogant about their looks because so much of that is DNA and out of their control. I've always talked to my kids with respect as equals (while taking their inexperience into account). I hate it when people talk down to kids because I so clearly remember it from my own childhood. Actually, people still do it.

At the heart of it all is the fact that appearances have a lot to do with choosing a mate and I don't think that's ever going to change. It's primal.

Good-day
07-26-11, 06:45 PM
So, how do you increase this while decreasing weight? Drink milkshakes?

Reesacat
07-26-11, 06:47 PM
Good-day:
Some of us are doing the HCG diet:
An explanation is here:
http://www.hawkeshealth.net/community/showthread.php?t=7329
And my blog is here:
http://www.hawkeshealth.net/community/showthread.php?t=6869

If you want more information send me a private message.

mellowsong
07-26-11, 09:02 PM
I think with girls we need to do both specifically because of the way our culture is. Every girl I know wants to be pretty whether they say it or not. If that confidence is not instilled early on then middle school is going to be even harder socially (it's already a nightmare).

I've been trying to stay quiet here but can't any longer. I was never told I was pretty, only that I was fat and would never get a boyfriend, never succeed etc. Every bite I put in my mouth was scrutinized while at the same time my mother served massive home made desserts every night...my sister and I would occasionally be allowed to have something but were ridiculed with every bite. My mother firmly believed she could mortify my sister and I into losing weight...but did absolutely nothing to help us! I've struggled with my weight since I was 8 years old....major yo-yo. Now at 57 years old, between EFT and now the HCG diet, I might be beginning to get a handle on the self hate. I think all I'm trying to say is that words can destroy a child completely, inside and out. Many never recover...with the right tools, I am recovering self-esteem.

Reesacat
07-26-11, 09:31 PM
I am so sorry you had to go through that, Mellow-and I am honored to be your friend as I watch you courageously reclaim your life.

Islander
07-26-11, 09:57 PM
I can't say it any better than Reesacat. My feelings exactly.

Aaltrude
07-26-11, 10:11 PM
Reesacat has such a good way with words. I also ditto her comments.

Maurya
07-26-11, 10:43 PM
Me too also, as well, ditto what Reesacat and Mellowsong have said. Over the weekend, I had occasion to go kayak paddling in a nice lake with a distant cousin, another little old lady (a whole month older than I am, so that makes both of us old). We were talking about our perfectly wretched childhoods, reminiscing about the bad old days. Each of us remembered with great fondness our Aunt Rose, who talked with us kids as though we indeed were regular people, never talking down, never using that "cute" baby talk with us. We need more people like Aunt Rose in this world.

highlander
07-27-11, 04:29 AM
Mellow, your story is a perfect example of what I was referring to. No child should ever have to go through that. I agree with Reesacat.

mellowsong
07-27-11, 11:04 AM
Thanks y'all. I appreciate the comments. It has been a long road and I still have a lot of work to do but I know now that I will get there. I've also come to realize that I don't have to be thin to feel good about myself!