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Thread: Grave Matters

  1. #1
    Administrator Islander's Avatar
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    Default Grave Matters

    Yes, it is a book. No, it's not exactly about nutrition, but we don't have a category for books about funeral practices.

    Mark Harris has written a book about a concept whose time has come. Green or not, the notion of "natural" burial has a lot going for it.

    http://gravematters.us/

  2. #2
    Veteran Member mellowsong's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grave Matters

    I find this very intriguing. I can't tell you on what network, but not too long ago I actually saw a documentary on this. It's apparently gaining in popularity.

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    Default Re: Grave Matters

    Quote Originally Posted by Islander
    Yes, it is a book. No, it's not exactly about nutrition, but we don't have a category for books about funeral practices.

    Mark Harris has written a book about a concept whose time has come. Green or not, the notion of "natural" burial has a lot going for it.

    http://gravematters.us/
    It wasn't until I read the essay The American Way of Death that I had any idea how stinky the death industry was. As far as I'm concerned they can flush me down the toilet or bury me in a cardboard box. All that crap for those still living is to make a huge profit for the death industry. Say NO to expensive, pointless funerals - it's an ego thing -but your ego is not going to be around to see it.

  4. #4
    Bridestein
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    Default Re: Grave Matters

    I used to work at a country market that fronted a run-down trailer park. When one of the tenants died, the other residents constructed a coffin out of scrap wood and set it on the porch for everyone to decorate with wood-working tools.
    I’m ashamed to admit that my first thought was “well, what can you expect?”, but I’ve since changed my mind. What they did is much more meaningful than the ‘civilized’ alternative.
    Although the man was probably full of formaldehyde when he was buried.

  5. #5
    Administrator Islander's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grave Matters

    Bridestein, at first I chuckled but I absolutely agree with you. One new trend in America is a casket decorated with some theme that related to the deceased - hunting, fishing, military, sports team, etc. For this, the family pays thousands of dollars. Your trailer park guys did something far more meaningful. And rational!

  6. #6
    Veteran Member Katee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grave Matters

    Quote Originally Posted by PPARGammaGirl
    It wasn't until I read the essay The American Way of Death that I had any idea how stinky the death industry was. As far as I'm concerned they can flush me down the toilet or bury me in a cardboard box. All that crap for those still living is to make a huge profit for the death industry. Say NO to expensive, pointless funerals - it's an ego thing -but your ego is not going to be around to see it.
    I totally agree. When i die & they've removed whatever is usable, my donor card says "cremate the leftovers." I don't have a problem donating my body for anatomy class, either, but i don't want to think about it while i'm living! (I mean, i'll prepare by informing next of kin, etc., but then don't want to think about what happens.) But that is me.

    Because of the culture, it is hard to think of doing the same with my husband's body. Also, if he should die before his mother, i'm not sure what she would do in response to a "green" choice. I know that at least once a year, & probably more, she visits her daughter's grave.

    My ego won't be around to see my funeral, & i don't care what they do with what's left of me when i'm gone. But the egos of others get involved in funeral matters.

  7. #7
    Veteran Member Reesacat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grave Matters

    In the south where I am there is a tradition of visiting graves and decorating them for holidays such as Memorial Day.

    When I was so ill I was dying some years ago I told my husband to bury me if my mother was still alive because she just couldn't handle a cremation. (I personally would prefer to be cremated. Tons of lead-lined coffins and embalming fluid cannot be good for the living.)

  8. #8
    Administrator Islander's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grave Matters

    Quote Originally Posted by Reesacat
    In the south where I am there is a tradition of visiting graves and decorating them for holidays such as Memorial Day.
    That's true here too, and in lots of places, but it's a tradition I have never participated in. My father, mother, stepmother and both husbands are buried far, far from me, so it's not practical to visit their graves. Nor meaningful. Do they care? I think not!

    I've already had this conversation with my children, who agree that they have no intention of coming to visit my grave, so there will be none. When all my usable parts have been recycled, they can share what's left of the ashes.

  9. #9
    katybr
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    Default Re: Grave Matters

    The funeral industry is a total rip-off, when you go in, be prepared to be seen as cheap, or just get taken. I've already determined a cardboard box is legal here and it is my wishes, Why a body must be embalmed to be cremated is beyond my simple brain. But embalming is a requirement. Oh and I have listed on my ID, no body parts for lease, lend, sale, or trade, Also DNR. I plan to completely use up my body, no parts would be appropriate for others, I know, or suspect the high compensatory traffic in body parts could possibly cause a doctor[those bastions of high calling and integrity] to lose his/her compassionate nature, and I don't want to be party to that kind of temptation.

    K.

  10. #10
    arizona
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    Default Re: Grave Matters

    This is my pet peeve!!!! I have always said that there would be no funeral for me. I am with you Katy. Donate and let the rest of my remains be cremated. If they need to grieve, have a party to celebrate I am finally home where I belong with God.

  11. #11
    Veteran Member Maurya's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grave Matters

    My husband's father was cremated, and the ashes scattered in a beautiful forested state park, which I will not name, for obvious reasons. At least once a year, we visit the forest to meditate with the trees and wildlife there. So much more meaningful than a trip to a cemetery!

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