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Thread: Beauty salons show promise as nutrition promoters

  1. #16
    EmmaPeel
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    Default Re: Beauty salons show promise as nutrition promoters

    Quote Originally Posted by Islander
    Katee, it's odd that your MIL sees the comparative price of organic vs. conventional produce...but not the comparative price of a cheap home-cooked meal vs. a restaurant meal.

    Do you eat her food?

    It's different for me, I admit, because I have no family. My friends know that I grow or buy organic for myself; I've also made it clear that I am diabetic and gluten-intolerant. I've asked them please not to cook with me in mind, but when I'm invited for a meal or a potluck, others will often ask in advance whether I can eat this or that item. (Some of my friends do eat organic. We think alike — that's why we're friends).

    However, it comes to mind that [almost] all the family* gathered at my older daughter's house last Christmas. I'm diabetic, Brendan's vegetarian, but Kirstin made almost no effort to keep our dietary restrictions in mind. Admittedly she was cooking for house guests over three days, but still... Brendan had a harder time than I; I only had to avoid starches & sugars. He told me later that he left the table hungry more than once.

    Wouldn't you think that family members, more than friends, would be sensitive to others' needs and preferences? I've found that menopause has given me increased assertiveness (not that I was ever shy). :p In your place, I'd refuse your MIL's food on the grounds that I had developed a reaction to food additives & pesticides...and bring along your own "bag lunch." If you can't convince 'em, ignore 'em! Hah!

    * By "no family" I meant I had no one of my generation or older.
    Katee and Islander: My ex mother in law NEVER cooked for any of our allergies or food preferences. They were Mennonite German and lived on pork, sausages, meats with semi-packaged gravy, sugary baking, white everything. But they did love their homemade soups. Most of the time my SIL and I left the table ill and spent the entire night in the toilet with diarrhea. Got to the point where we would eat before we went, and then just nibble as to not offend. She would not hear of any of our nonsense involving modifying a recipe, or cooking without a package or a jar.

    Islander, I think it is in bad form to invite someone over for a meal and not at least make something that they can eat. Perhaps she just didn't know what or how to cook vegetarian? I remember having a ovo/vegetarian for dinner many years ago, and being an inexperienced cook at the time, all I could come up with was salad and an cheese omelette. Pathetic!
    Now I would make.... rice flour herb biscuits, portebello mushroom "burgers", couscous, avocado and citrus salad and salsa...they would leave stuffed...trust me!!

    I agree. If family or friends ignore your plea's or are just insensitive clods that they don't give a hoot about your health, then I say send them a little note about a week before the dinner reminding them of the things that you CAN"T eat (and then a list of what you can). Maybe even send a simple recipe or two. Preface this all with an apologetic "...I know you are a fantastic cook, but I'm not sure if you know, but there are some things I can't eat because it makes me very, very ill..." Then see what happens...

    If it continues, I personally would not grace their doorstep for a very long time.

  2. #17
    Administrator Islander's Avatar
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    Default Re: Beauty salons show promise as nutrition promoters

    Some things are just common sense/common courtesy. When I invite someone over for a meal for the first time, I always ask whether there is anything they cannot or do not eat. People don't introduce themselves as, "Hi, I'm John Jones and I have a shellfish allergy."

    I'm close enough to vegetarian myself that I can always toss a salad or do a stir-fry for Brendan, but one Christmas I wanted to do something a little special. His girlfriend and I were sharing a homegrown chicken, but I went on line to find festive vegetarian Xmas food. Ended up with a really nice entrée and side dishes, and even a dessert that all of us could eat. Everyone has Internet access these days and I maintain it's just thoughtless not to take your dinner guests' needs/preferences into consideration.

    I'm afraid, though, that when religion enters the mix it's a new ball game. Religious customs and taboos complicate everything. That and attitude. My stepmother was the master of attitude: This is the way I do it, and if it's good enough for me, it's good enough for everyone. Good luck combatting that one.

  3. #18
    EmmaPeel
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    Default Re: Beauty salons show promise as nutrition promoters

    Oh I totally hear ya. What does religion have to do with allergies?
    I'm assuming that this relative believes that a Christian turkey with all the trimmings must be eaten by all, and damn those who
    don't ?

    Ahhh....I see now. I know people who are vegetarian because it is their faith.

    Intolerance to other's because of their belief???

  4. #19
    Veteran Member Reesacat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Beauty salons show promise as nutrition promoters

    Quote Originally Posted by Islander
    Some things are just common sense/common courtesy. When I invite someone over for a meal for the first time, I always ask whether there is anything they cannot or do not eat. People don't introduce themselves as, "Hi, I'm John Jones and I have a shellfish allergy."

    I'm close enough to vegetarian myself that I can always toss a salad or do a stir-fry for Brendan, but one Christmas I wanted to do something a little special. His girlfriend and I were sharing a homegrown chicken, but I went on line to find festive vegetarian Xmas food. Ended up with a really nice entrée and side dishes, and even a dessert that all of us could eat. Everyone has Internet access these days and I maintain it's just thoughtless not to take your dinner guests' needs/preferences into consideration.

    I'm afraid, though, that when religion enters the mix it's a new ball game. Religious customs and taboos complicate everything. That and attitude. My stepmother was the master of attitude: This is the way I do it, and if it's good enough for me, it's good enough for everyone. Good luck combatting that one.
    Attitude is a problem. If it is about fixing a meal so someone can get the praise they want, you got a problem. If someone is fixing a meal to share and bless, they have their guests as a priority.
    Often control issues are behind food.

  5. #20
    Administrator Islander's Avatar
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    Default Re: Beauty salons show promise as nutrition promoters

    Very intuitive, Reesacat. Food is at the center of every one of life's milestones, too.

    As for religion, I was thinking of the prohibitions and taboos around pork, shellfish, alcohol, caffeine etc. but also about Mennonites and their traditions. And some vegetarians and organic eaters are so committed as to be nearly fanatic about what they consume. I wonder how many battles are fought over food, as opposed to other issues?

  6. #21
    Veteran Member Katee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Beauty salons show promise as nutrition promoters

    Quote Originally Posted by Islander
    Katee, it's odd that your MIL sees the comparative price of organic vs. conventional produce...but not the comparative price of a cheap home-cooked meal vs. a restaurant meal.

    Do you eat her food?
    Well, left to herself, i doubt my MIL would EVER spend that amount of money on a meal out. It is my FIL's doing, & she has come to accept it, somewhat. I think part of her "organic is too expensive" as well as some of her other ways of being cost conscious, are trying to balance out his tendency to over-spend.

    She is in the very unenviable position of not having a lot of control over her life currently. She does have choices & i think over all she likes her life, but there are some areas in her life where things are happening i think she doesn't like & she can't stop them.

    In general, i don't eat her food. She was largely responsible for me becoming vegetarian.

    Our current situation is that we work 100 miles away from home & so are away from home 2 nights a week. We stay with my ILs those two days. Eating an occasional (every 6 weeks to 2-3 months) meal made with Minute Rice, conventionally raised beef, Campbells soup, & conventionally raised veggies was something i could do. One or two meals a week was over the top for me.

    I tried to resolve this in different ways, such as, "Since you're cooking when i cannot, let me supply the ingredients." Except she'd never use the things i bought. She'd let them spoil before she'd use them. The only way i could see around this was to switch to vegetarianism & therefore be unable to eat what she cooked. Also, i was leaning toward vegetarianism anyway. (I'm not vegan, however.)

    It worked for a while. She is very much a hostess & still has tried to cook for me sometimes. Sometimes i'll go along. I'm not very fond of microwaved potatoes, but i think that if it is an occasional thing & it makes our relationship smoother, it is worth it.

    However, lately she has been doing more food "You can eat that, right?" which is fresh produce, conventionally raised from the dirty dozen, & sometimes i find myself struggling. I think she thinks i'm a food snob & doesn't understand why i'm doing this. However i have, as gently as possible, tried to explain it to her & at this point she just doesn't "get it." Sometimes i think she doesn't want to.

    Quote Originally Posted by Islander
    And some vegetarians and organic eaters are so committed as to be nearly fanatic about what they consume. I wonder how many battles are fought over food, as opposed to other issues?
    If you're speaking of war, i don't know. However, at times (especially when around my husband's family) i feel like i'm being that fanatic. I try to do things in balance & not freak over some things, but other times i really struggle with it.

  7. #22
    EmmaPeel@Work
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    Default Re: Beauty salons show promise as nutrition promoters

    Reesacat, you are as astute as ever...it never entered my mind that someone would cook a meal just to impress...the concept is foreign to me...

    Islander, I wasn't necessarily referring to those who were eating special diets due to for xample diabetes, but to those who could not eat certain things because it was against their faith (Kosher, Halal).

    Yes, many wars have been faught over food, that's for sure!!

  8. #23
    Administrator Islander's Avatar
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    Default Re: Beauty salons show promise as nutrition promoters

    Quote Originally Posted by EmmaPeel@Work
    Islander, I wasn't necessarily referring to those who were eating special diets due to for xample diabetes, but to those who could not eat certain things because it was against their faith (Kosher, Halal).
    Yes, I know. I think I said that. If I didn't, well, I meant to. EVERY major religion has some proscribed food (except maybe Buddhism?) Even Catholics have days of fasting and abstinence.

  9. #24
    Veteran Member Maurya's Avatar
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    Default Re: Beauty salons show promise as nutrition promoters

    Quote Originally Posted by Reesacat
    Attitude is a problem. If it is about fixing a meal so someone can get the praise they want, you got a problem. If someone is fixing a meal to share and bless, they have their guests as a priority.
    Often control issues are behind food.
    Take one dose of attitude, add several spoonsful of desire for control and power over others, throw in the need to impress and to feel the adulation of one's guests, overlay all with religion, family tradition, and underlying designations of "black sheep", "good son", etc. and what sort of a mess do you achieve? Some of my family members are really into competitive gourmet cooking, and yet I am the weirdo who dares to think about whether the food might be healthy and nutritious, as well as being innovative and delicious. Must be something wrong with me!

    Some of the sensitive button-pushing issues always revolve around food, bringing out the defenses in certain "my way or the highway" people. My question, which probably will go unanswered within my lifetime, is who gets to decide? Who expects, who demands, who defers to keep the peace, who tries to shake up the pecking order, who actually succeeds in shaking up the pecking order, and who succeeds only in provoking confrontation?

  10. #25
    Administrator Islander's Avatar
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    Default Re: Beauty salons show promise as nutrition promoters

    Stop it, Maurya. You're making my brain hurt.





    Hmm. We need a sarcasm smilie.

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